so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
