Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize