I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
