Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
