Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You are the jesus of drinking
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
