so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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