how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize