New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
