i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize