This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
