Just fell off a train. Bad.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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