we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
