He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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