i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
