if you like me you must not know who I am
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
