I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
