Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Umm I'm too high to move.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
