were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
