I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
