Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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