No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
