I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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