I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
