last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
