how hairy? two words: wookie tits
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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