is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
