That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Everything about him screamed your future.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
