Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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