that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
