i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My ass is underappreciated
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
