Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
