I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
