I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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