i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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