I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Are we still banned from the library?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
