so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
