he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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