i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
