Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
