I want to walk on stilts...naked
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
