well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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