Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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