i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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