I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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