I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
only you would photoshop your dick
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
