I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
