I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
