Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize