no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
