I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Two words: nipple clamps
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