Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
