do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
