So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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