So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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