That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
