i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
