I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
