I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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