Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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