i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
