A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize